We Miss you Sandra Winter

Sandra Winter Memorial Celebration JANUARY 10th: Please Come!

2010-01-02T10:53:00.000-04:00

As many of you have now heard, Sandra Winter passed away on December 23, 2009, with her son Gaelen by her side.Sandra died of complications from her lung transplant surgery in Toronto General Hospital. A memorial service will be held at some later date in Nova Scotia, most likely in the Spring. However I would like to invite all of you and anyone you know to a CELEBRATION OF SANDRA held at my gallery...Argyle Fine Art. But don't think of it as a gallery event...imagine this as my home (which I suppose it kinda is, ha) Be comfortable. The idea is to create a time for anyone that knew her or helped in some way, even by donating stuff to an event or attending our yard sales, ..to get together and remember, celebrate.

Celebration of Sandra: Sunday, January 10th, 1pm-4pm. 1869 Upper Water Street/ Halifax, NS
Theme is POTLUCK..(afterall FOOD can heal!) Bring dishes that are already warm...we only have a small microwave here...
Bring a favourite dish, nibbly AND a special memory you have of Sandra or a note to the family.
Write it on a recipe card or recipe card sized piece of paper...I will then forward all your notes and thoughts to Sandra's son and family. Will can post these up on the walls of the gallery as they arrive for the afternoon of the 10th....and hope to be joined by a musician or two as well. If any of you would like to verbally share a few words about Sandra that would be great as well. Let me know how you can help out if you can....hope you can all make it.

We are still waiting to hear details, however it is my understanding that Sandra wanted to set up a fund in her name, to be used for others that find themselves in a similar situation as she did, financially. I hope to have that information available by then as well, should you want to help out that way as a memorial.

Each of us will have our own special memories of Sandra's incredible spirit of life and will be forever touched by her. She's one of the bravest people I have ever known and I miss her terribly, but I know she would want us to celebrate all that she is too! Hope to see you.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me directly at 902-425-9456. If you want to send a message along if you live at a distance, please mail it to Argyle Fine Art, 1869 Upper Water Street, Halifax, NS B3J 1S9.

Thank you to everyone that has helped along the way...with fundraising, donations, yard sales, ticket sales, sign making, drag show folks, artists, The Lung Association, etc etc...so many people to thank. Hope to do that in person soon!

With the warmest wishes and thoughts for 2010,
Adriana

HELLO EVERYBODY!

2009-04-23T15:01:00.002-04:00

SPRING IS HERE...and WINTER IS NOT....a famous Sandra Winter telephone voice message which I wish were not true right now. As many of you know, Sandra Winter is patiently awaiting STILL....yes, for her double lung translant! Til then though, feel free to drop a line her through my email at cinnamongal29@yahoo.com. Check back often for news updates and fundraisers and great stories by Sandra of course.

This week is Donor week....here is a link to a recent article. Keep fingers crossed that soon Sandra will be able to get back to life!

http://www.metronews.ca/toronto/local/article/216332--donor-week-kicks-off-with-push-for-youth-to-recycle-their-organs

2008-11-04T09:26:00.006-04:00

Kansas above with her hoody ready for hunting season.

No the snow has not yet arrived at Wilcox. According to my friend and groundskeeper, Buddy, the Shore is experiencing a mild reprieve from a cold start to winter. Still, green grass or snowbanks a mile high, I sure wish I was there.

And yet...here on Bay Street one can sometimes see the most spectacular shows of nature. A couple of weeks ago I looked out to see a raptor of some kind circling between the buildings, spiraling up on the up drafts and then looping back low and starting the spiral again. Soon I noticed he/she had been joined by another...and another...until there were 14 in all. 14 raptors (they looked larger than the peregrines I first took them for) spinning and spinning...'kettling' my bird watching friend Marsha Jane (above) tells me. Never heard that word used that way before. A kettling of eagles. She tells me that they do that to gather before a migration.

So I live in the wilderness at Wilcox to experience nature first hand and I come to downtown Toronto, a different kind of wilderness, to find this spectacle presenting itself to me, unasked. Goes to show, like the song says, "you can't always get what you want, but you get what you need". I sure needed that kettling, that touchstone with something wild and certain.

Life continues to be a ball of uncertainty here. I go on getting my teeth fixed and having my skin attended to, such ordinary things. Things for future benefit. And I wonder each time what the point is without the lungs. Shouldn't everything go on hold until then? And then I get it, not for the first time, but for the millionth time. Why is this lesson so hard to learn?

Life is about today. Waiting until there is enough time, money, health, energy, space, willpower, is cheating yourself. There is never a perfect time to be. Borrowing from AA, "Fake it 'till you make it" if necessary. But get on with now. It's all there is. And today for me it contains a kettling of eagles and it's good.

Warm thoughts
Sandra

YARD SALE THIS SUNDAY, Sept. 28th 9am-1pm

2008-09-24T19:52:00.005-04:00

This SUNDAY, Sept 28th, 9am-1pm.....if the weather holds out, there will be one more little yard sale for Sandra Winter. It will be held at 6165 Willow Street, Halifax, NS.

If you have things to donate you can bring them to this address the day of the sale, as there is no storage space for items this time. Any questions, you can contact Anne Hillis at 463-1007!

See ya at the sale!

Season of the Monarch

2008-09-19T09:17:00.002-04:00

The Monarchs are back! I was astonished the first autumn I spent here on Bay Street to find at least a month where not a day went by without a monarch butterfly or two passing my balcony on its way to ...South America? It seemed like a fluke. Or a sign. I found a lot of encouragement in that happening and my mother made it into an emblem for me, adding it as the image on my calling card and making a stained glass container for the cards.

Now it has happened again. The Monarchs are back. No fluke. Those guys are inspired to keep going. A whole year and then some and I'm still here waiting but, the important bit is the 'still here' part. Life is stripped quite bare by now and even so, it offers up stunning moments like the day last week of the first Monarch sighting.

The last few months have been filled with a new element. That of hired caregivers. I've had women from Russia, Antigua, Ethiopia, China, Hungary and Jamaica come to do everything from pick up and dust the apartment, to escorting me to the treadmill room. Combined with the emotional support that I've always got from my team and family, I feel as if I'm the central figure in a Noh theatre piece, everyone else dressed in black, invisibly facilitating my being able to lead my life of 'independance'. I'm so impressed at the gentleness and kindness these women offer day after day allowing me the dignity of a relatively seamless life even when I need so much help to pull it off.

On a very exciting note, all transplant hopefulls were called to a meeting a few weeks ago to hear a presentation by the head surgeon, Dr. Shav Keshavjii. Dr Keshavjii was the surgeon who did my first transplant and is a brilliant fellow) He wanted to present us with an exciting new project called HELP which will change lung tranplant radically. The research is done. The approvals are in and the live study is underway.

Kshavjii told us that of all the lungs donated only 18% are in usable shape when they arrive at the hospital on ice. The rest have minor to major problems. He has developed an invivo process (like an incubator) to hold a less than perfect lung, infuse it with air (rather than keep it on ice) and allow it to rest for a period of a few hours. He has found that this rest period allows a very high percentage of the lungs to self correct and make them meet or exceed the standards for transplant. He was looking to us to sign forms if we were willing to receive a 'reconditioned' lung. Projecting into the not too distant future, he could see having lungs held in a 'bank' ready for use when the need arose, hence cutting out this dreadful waiting period. It would also of course increase the percentage of usable lungs, he felt, to 60%...quite a leap from 18%. All VERY exciting.

Reporting from the Monarch counting station here on Bay ST Toronto
correspondent Sandra Winter

Just some of my recent visitors!

2008-07-26T09:06:00.005-04:00

2008-07-22T11:46:00.002-04:00

So this is my Mom, Jeanne. She has just spent much of a month here with me in Toronto saving my bacon. I'd reached the bottom of my coping skills barrel when she came to my rescue. It isn't easy returning to olden days roles, a mom and a sick kid. But we managed very honourably, I think..Hope you do to Mom!

The bug that completely robbed me of by ability to fend for myself is nicely under control as of last week. So this week I've sent Mom home to recouperate...may take her a while. All 79 3/4 years of her made three meals a day, (to my specs), made the beds, did the laundry, was my hospital workout coach and evening tucker inner. Big job. Especially when I'm so ornery about how I want what where and when.

I've had lots of visitors along the way, many from down East. I'll write about some of that tomorrow. For today, I've used up my renewed energy but am ever so thankful that I have it to use up.

Bye for now
Sandra

2008-07-06T06:54:00.002-04:00

Still no lungs. I hate to write that. I feel as if you all have done your part and I'm shirking here. But I know I'm high priority on the list. And I know I only want those perfect lungs that will be meant for me so I wait with less or more patience.

Bad news. While waiting I contracted a fungal infection in my lungs...adds to the destruction of those already miserable twins. The fix is many months of a drug that costs more than my rent! But, alas, I had fundraising to fall back on and was able to say with only a small gulp, "Bring it on".

Good news. Then, two weeks into the regime, my team sent a letter to Nova Scotia to tell them that I needed the drug and that it cost the earth. Nova Scotia, after all my haranging to get them to spring for drugs decided to pay for this one! Hallelujia! Does anyone know if there was a change in policy regarding pharmacare?

So I'm unable to stay alone with the coughing fits that require help to get through. I have my mom with me just now and soon my friend Barb Luxton will come from Halifax for a stint. The wait cannot be much more, can it?

Thanks for sticking with me. I'm doing my best.

Sandra

2008-04-26T08:18:00.003-04:00

I haven't written in a long time. Not because I haven't thought about it and all of you. But its hard to write and not let the longing for home leak into my words. Its even harder to have words open the deep connection I feel for my friends and family in Nova Scotia and not be able to be with them. Waiting has become difficult. I try to keep in mind that my whole job is waiting with purpose, like the piping plovers at the shore. Not idleness but work. Keeping healthy in mind and body. Keeping current of what the hospital and my team expect of me and indeed what I expect of myself.

While I've been idle, fundraisers have been busy polishing off the last of the work which has brought funds up to and exceeding the goal of $60,000! I can't believe it. I can't explain sufficiently the peace of mind that the bank account offers me while I wait, not worrying what the cost of the next drug prescribed will be, not exhausting myself travelling from a distance so that I can minimize housing costs. Hospital access is the most important feature of my life right now. I go to the hospital a minimum of three times a week and with the help of Ruby, my hot red scooter, it is 8 minutes door to door. My world is very small but it is still within my control.

You might have an image in your mind about what this treadmill room looks like, who I keep company with on my days of workout. I would lay bets that no matter what you guessed you would be way off.

Last week when I was thinking about writing here, I looked around and realized that I was the only one in the room that did not have an outstanding (nor indeed any) tattoo and my multiple piercings were confined to single earring holes. My companions that day however were young, very young. One had shocks of pink hair standing straight up. Another had rows of earrings lining his ear and others in lip and nose. All, yes, every one that day had visible tattoos, dragons, and snakes and angels. One had his father with him who also was pierced and painted. These rake thin kids are warriors dressed for a battle making themselves strong where they can, in their attitude!

I've learned a lot from them. Goal setting for instance. They have plans, every one of them. Some of the goals are for today. How many reps can they sustain on the pulleys? All of them have big plans of returning to school, or humanitarian projects, or just getting to a Bluejays game. Now that's optimism! If everyone could see them, selling the notion of organ donation would be a synch.

Other days the treadmill room has more of a mix. Lots of Newfoundlanders keep us laughing. Lots of Nova Scotians...is it the Atlantic ocean air? Many on the waiting list are doing a fancy balancing act to be there...extra expenses, kids farmed out, jobs on hold. The strain of worries rests clearly on their faces. A few, after their workout, slip into their jaguar that is waiting at the curb, the fragility of life no less an issue. Lung disease is very democratic.

Its easy to see that some people don't have the support we all need and are struggling to keep their emotional head above water while their body fades under them. That's not me, however! I have had the best kind of support from my team and family. Independance when I can handle it and unwavering companionship when the load becomes a two person job.

In 1998 when I had my first transplant the team here in Toronto did 35 lungs with about 50 people waiting on the list at any one time. In 2007 the team transplanted 99 lungs. Already, only April, this year 25 people have received the gift of life. There are still about 50 people waiting with me, hoping for their lucky day. We hope for each other. Luck is abundant.

I'm just plain up for a gab now that I've got going here. I don't want to ring off until I say again how grateful I am to Adriana Afford for her dedication and skill and calling in every favour ever owed to her, to pull off the very successful fundraising that allows me to be here. I know that when I identify Adriana, I am missing a hoard of people who have joined her leadership on many projects, some of which I'm not even aware. If you are one of these people please accept my thanks and forgive me not being able to address you specifically.

As always, please consider donation, especially this week, Organ Donation Awareness Week.

Thanks for listening
Sandra

2008-02-25T13:50:00.003-04:00

To all the Artful Bag fundraisers: What a successful event this has turned out to be. Adriana tells me that it has grossed over $7000! I'd loved to have seen all the bags and their contents. I feel as if I have fallen behind in my 'thank you's' for the participation of so many hands to make this happen. For those of you who missed the actual event at which the draw occurred, this is the letter Olga Milosovitch kindly read for me. I share it with you now as a stand-in . It'll have to do although it doesn't begin to reflect my sincere thanks to everyone. And especially to Argyle Fine Art and its wonderful owner and staff.

7th February 2008
Hi Olga and thanks so much for hosting tonight!

Much as I'd like to be in Halifax attending this shindig, I'm marooned here on the 32nd floor of my Bay Street apartment. A pair of peregrine falcons nests somewhere up here and I see them hunting, several times a week, ( I hate to think for what). They are my symbol for freedom from these oxygen tanks and, this tiny life I lead.

Ruby the Red, my trusty scooter, allows me to escape three times a week to work out at the hospital treadmill room. Its eight minutes away door to door. Under the supervision of the physiotherapists I get stronger and more efficient in body , ready for the big day. It's a long wait...six months and counting...but I watch all of the projects by friends, colleagues and acquaintances with interest. It really does keep me hopeful.

I know the process of rolling out a project like the Artful Bags is not easy. I know how many hours and how much good will goes into making something like this productive and deceptively seamless. From all reports it will be a model project, and contribute lots of dollars to the fund. It could not happen without everybody's input..

What a good crew there's been. The seed of the idea from Anne Hillis was an inspiring one from the beginning and she negotiated with the generous bag makers. Patty McClelland jumped in applying her practical experience to make the project feasible. Holly Carr, Barb Luxton and Maureen Gale handled all the initial administration and creative details. Fanny and Hilroy Nathanson , pounded the pavement to find sponsors to fill the bags. Groups like the Basketry Guild and my own Brunch Bunch women artists, made sure the contents would have good craft included, something near and dear to my heart. Many outstanding ticket sellers were all critical to making this work and of course the ticket buyers were essential. Brandt and Crystal from Argyle Gallery were at the ready for whatever needed doing. Thanking all the fine artists who agreed to paint a bag will take me a lifetime.

None of this or any other project would have got off the ground without the ever patient and fun and creative energy of my dear friend, Adriana at Argyle Fine Art and her trusty sidekick, Joe. I will be forever in their debt.

So, Olga, make the night fun for all as only you can. And let everybody know how much I need their good thoughts and appreciate the deeds that have brought home such a successful fundraiser.

Bye for now
Love
Sandra
PS. As they say, "Don't take your lungs to heaven. Heaven knows we need them here". Dedicate your organs today!

2008-02-24T10:02:00.002-04:00

Here's another example of a grassroots fundraiser that had lots of punch. This motley crew are the extended families of 17 friends who have camped together every year for most of their adult lives. Each year during their roundup weekend together they schedule games and sports and challenges, and bring new goods for auction which raise money to help some one or some thing. This year I was the lucky recipient. After a weekend I could only wish to be at, there was well over $1000 added to the secondwind fund and everybody had had some fun. If you look on the right, you will see my brothers Bryan and Dale and my sister-in-law Karen, the spearhead of this event. Among the participants are my niece Megan and nephews Beau and Dylan and their partners. Thank you everyone. By doing this you support my family as well as me.

2008-02-24T09:34:00.003-04:00

Small initiatives in fundraising have been happening which got big results. The one illustrated by the photo, was a raffle set up by the payroll office at the Niagara Falls Hospital (my home town). Thanks to Etta, Gail, Lori, Kim and Rachelle, this Deluxe Crayola basket of goodies was displayed in a high traffic area of the hospital, along with a poster, and tickets were sold every day for weeks...to the tune of $850!! And do I know these women? No. Do they even know my sister-in law Karen who initiated the raffle? Not very well. This good heartedness about people always leaves me dumbfounded. Some lucky kid got a great treat and I reaped the benefit of a group of strangers generosity. Thank you so so much, Payroll Ouuu...I forgot to thank Chris Borycheski who works at Crayola, for donating this and two other Crayola packages. Thanks Chris! Thanks Karen!

2007-12-30T08:33:00.000-04:00

Rachael Field's wonderful poem,

Something told the wild geese

it was time to go

'Though the fields lay golden

something whispered snow.....

has been poking at me all Autumn. If you are unfamiliar with the whole of this poem let me recommend you look it up. The image and sound of a V of geese in the late day sky will never seem the same again.

As many of you know, I spend a lot of time preparing my New Years Resolution. I always make it achievable and I always make it a nutshell of an idea so that I can speak about it, use it in my daily conversation and practice it so that it becomes natural and a kind of mantra by the time another year end rolls around. I'm finishing up with patience and forebearance, a two year tall order and a subject about which I am just beginning to feel the depth. Achievement is relative.

The Field poem has been haunting me because it seems to me geese get more signals about how to 'behave' than we humans. All other animals in fact have better 'manners' than people in terms of how to participate for the good of the group and for themselves. Maybe we've just lost touch with how to make good collective choices ...or maybe we just can't hear the instructions. In general this is true. But given the chance....

Having been witness this year to the group support as it unfolds before me; the fundraising, contributions from friend and neighbour, and neighbour of neighbour, and stranger, there is distinct resemblance to my geese. It has been a strong and wavering V that will swoop and bend to catch up a faltering spirit or coax on a tired member of the team. I so enjoy correspondence that results from the various projects large and small, and each note tells of the satisfaction felt by being part of a collective with a positive goal. Makes me feel less of a subject and more of a participant in a good idea!

Left on our own, many of us, (me!) do things that are not only against the good of the group but distinctly against the individual well being.. holding on to negative ideas about self or others. There's something juicily attractive to embroidering a long festering grudge or a self abrading notion. The results of doing so are ugly and destructive. Medical doctors tell us the reasons why they want us to stop...blood preasure, heart stress. Spiritual doctors tell us it will relieve physical pain, lead to greater simple happiness. I believe them! I do! But what is it I let go? And how? Where do I begin?

As always, I believe that change in behaviour begins with change in language. So this year you'll hear me jimmying the word release into my conversations with you. Or maybe with a few days left to ponder before the New Year it will head in the direction of the word forgiveness, a much more grown up word, one I may not be ready for. And surrender will swim in the periphery.

It is from the generosity of the Sandrassecondwind group that I draw inspiration for my resolution for 2008. Yaking it out here on the page I begin to see that surrender may take precedence for shaping my future...becoming more the person I wish to be...recognizing that by surrendering myself to the larger group I become a stronger individual with less room and no time for negative attachments.

Rather a rambling resolution but mine. What is yours?

Happy New Year and thanks to everyone

Love Sandra

PS I managed to spend 7 days with my family in Niagara Falls over Christmas and they were so impressed with the fundraising and so thankful of all of the creative support from so many directions

...and the goose is getting fat

2007-12-16T15:48:00.000-04:00

My Christmas wish list is short this year. I'll bet you are guessing I would want those lungs to come my way soon, aren't you? And on the one hand I certainly do. On the flip side, that would mean that some other family's Holiday would be tragic. I cannot balance my own good luck against someone else's despair so I'm hoping for something other.

One person has already given me what I want for Christmas. But I'm greedy. I want it from everybody. That person, who shall remain nameless, wrote to tell me that she hadn't given much thought to transplant before. Oh, she'd thought about me, and she knew my struggles and my triumphs through the last set of lungs. But she just hadn't thought about herself and transplant and what it meant to her or anyone else.

In everyday life it seems quite healthy to not ponder our cornea doing double duty when we are finished with it. It would be morbid to dwell on how some piece of tissue we are currently taking to the gym to keep in shape could work just as well for someone else who has lost theirs in a fire. Likewise, lungs...hard to envisage them doing the heavy lifting in another's circulatory system. Its science fiction thinking. Not the stuff of day to day reality...or is it?

It is most of all our hearts we hate to think of 'giving away'. After all we have pledged our heart to our belief system, broken our heart at the loss of a loved one, opened it to a friend, cried our heart out over the loss of a pet, or a job or the end of an old movie. We keep our heart close to us. And we like it that way.

But my Christmas gift from my friend was just that. She spent a little time thinking about all of her 'bits and pieces' and she decided that giving them away when she was good and through with them was OK with her. She signed her donor card and told her family. She signed it for me. She gave me her heart literally and figuratively.

Best Christmas present I ever got!

The thing is, if we give it away, we get it back..big time.

I have met a family here in Toronto who had a daugher, Vicki. She was involved in a terrible accident years ago. And her family insisted that as much of her daugher's body be used for organ replacement as was possible...an act of generosity in a time of dire stress. This was many years ago. Amber's Mom still, these years later, holds an annual party. The flock of people, children now adults with children of their own, all come because they live on with some part of Amber assisting them and making life for each of them possible.

All organ donation is now anonymous and for good reason but it reminds me that surrender is a kind of total freedom and that we cannot lose ourselves by sharing with others. Maybe it's easier if you think of helping just one other person. What if years from now a person in your spectrum of life needed a heart, a lung a kidney. Wouldn't you hope that it would be available? It will only be available if, right now, when there is no such need for it, everyone who can, signs their donor card and tells their family. Signing alone is not good enough. Families have to know your wishes. Hard? Darn hard. Now? No time like the present... and family is gathered for the holiday. Why not approach it as a family?

Please give me what I want for Christmas. Sign a donor organ card and tell your family of your wishes.

You may find you have given the greatest gift to yourself.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone.

Sandra

How to make your wishes known? First tell your family. Second sign a donors' card and carry it in your wallet Download Donor Cards from Trillium Gift of Life Network Also when you renew your health card be sure to ask them to record your wishes on it
Download Donor Cards from OrganDonor.Gov

ARTFUL BAGS! GET YOUR TICKETS TO ORIGINAL ART ON A BAG AND TEMPTING PRIZES INSIDE. Tickets just $15!

2007-12-14T13:28:00.000-04:00

CLICK ON THE IMAGE ABOVE TO SEE A LARGER VERSION AND READ THE DETAILS

NSDCC Ticket Selling Success! ARTFUL BAGS!

2007-11-19T09:15:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures of the volunteers and a happy purchaser!

THANK YOU TO everyone that bought a ticket on one of the beautiful ARTFUL BAGS this weekend at the NSDCC Craft Market. Also thank you to volunteers and the folks at the Craft Council in allowing us to be selling such tickets at their wonderful event. Over 100 tickets were sold and lots of wonderful cards donated by Sharon MacDonald sold as well. Also, lots of well wishers for Sandra dropped by and other artisans that were there donated things for inside the bags. Oh and another artist is making an artful bag too- Suezan Aitkens! What a great weekend!

2007-11-05T18:20:00.000-04:00

While fundraising has been the major focus of this blog and it certainly is pivotal to making this project a success, some of you ask how I make the day to day ends meet. A new obstacle this past few weeks brought to the fore of my mind the other most important ingredient to making this a successful project and about which I've not spoken.

My support network

This is made up of five women, all long term friends...and I mean LONG...you may remember that I was born and raised in Southern Ontario, went to public school here and attended the University of Western Ontario. I have a kernel of friends who have come with me through much of that time. Of the five women the one I have known the shortest time is a strong ten year friendship...the longest 50 years! (We shared our first two-wheeler). The others, 15, 32, and 45 year friendships. No faint of heart friends here. Tested and true. And then there is the honorary member of the support team, my Mom, Jeanne.

When a person applies to the transplant programme they are required to have a support person in place. I couldn't provide that and had to sell the notion of a team approach. It was iffy and the weak point in my application to join the programme. One person in the psych department rooted for this model, in fact had been advocating for something similar for everyone. The sceptics tested my team more than once. Asked for important appointments with little time to organize. Expected attendance at some pretty tough procedures. Called them out of the blue and questioned the degree of their commitment.

If my team had a category in the Olympics they would wear medals. As it is I'll be coining my own to anoint them by the time we are finished.

This is how the team works day to day. The calendar goes out on the internet and people commit to blocks of a week, sometimes two, over a two month period. They also list their absolutely impossible times. They have jobs and families and life commitments. It proves the rule: If you want something done, ask a busy person.

They negotiate on line if there are conflicts or holes in the schedule, trade and keep it all recorded so I am always secure about who's on first.

Their job in their week 'on' is to be at the end of a cell phone 24 hours a day waiting for the BIG call that lungs have arrived. They are prepared to clear their slate at a moments notice. They phone in daily, check to see if I am well, need groceries, suss out if I am eating and attending physio (I can hide out now and again). It's a fancy dance between being a caregiver and being my friend. But every one of them has managed an elegant meshing of each. Some time in the duty week, I see that support person for a social event, a picnic at my house, or dinner out, an afternoon tea or a trip to the book store, depending on my energy and theirs. I find it is safe to be vulnerable as long as I feel I am in community, have a net that they provide.

This past few weeks I encountered a bigger obstacle than one person can handle. I was taken off the transplant list after a CT scan detected a spot on my lungs. I plunged into darkness for a day or two. Knowledge is good but this knowledge knocked hope out from under me. I wasn't ready to step out on my own. Then I called my team.

They banged into action. One of them came with me for a meeting with the head of the team to discuss and decide on a strategy to proceed. It was during this part of the process that I realized afresh just how solid my team was. My choices were few. I could repeat a scan every three months hoping that the spot would disappear. During this time I would be suspended from the list. The alternative was to have a needle biopsy of the lung and examine the sample to determine if it was the big C word or something else we didn't need to worry about. If it was cancerous, I would be permanently removed from the transplant list and could pack up and come home. If it was not, I would immediately go back on the waiting list.

Each person in my team has special and specific gifts they offer me. They are particularly generous with these gifts. Among them there are comforters, both spiritual and body, organizers, researchers , cooks, morale boosters and entertainers. Left to the natural synergy of the group, all my needs seem to get taken care of using the best from each person.

I discussed the alternatives with each of them and the logisitics of each choice. Their answers, each a different area of concern, became the pieces of the puzzle that culminated in my decision to go ahead with the procedure. On Friday past, I and one of my crew went to TGH. The procedure had a 50/50 chance of making more problems than it solved.

With the aide of my team, this camel slipped through the eye of the needle. The biopsy was clear of anything ominous. I will be relisted later this week and the wait for my new lungs with resume.

With celebration, and much gratitude, to Barb, Jane, Kris, Martha, and Wendy

Thank you and love

Sandra

2007-10-20T11:55:00.000-04:00

Greetings from sunny and warm Toronto. This spectacularly mild autumn has been lovely for one travelling by scooter, rain or shine. Also good for the spirits as we can at least pretend that the snow is not just around the corner. Thought I'd post a picture of what Wilcox looks like now so you'll know and I'll keep clearly in mind what I am aiming get back to...according to Buddy, my neighbour, the colour at Wilcox is at its peak just now and screaming out from the back fields at sundown. I know just what he means.

Here in Ontario trees have taken a beating over the dry summer and have not coloured off much at all. In fact on a trip to Niagara for Thanksgiving I saw many trees dead or dying along the escarpment as we drove the old #8 from Hamilton to St Catherines.

There sure are a lot of Maritimers here at the transplant unit. What is it about our lifestyle that makes such a mess of our lungs I have to wonder. Of course maybe its the story of driving a Volkswagon. Suddenly the world is filled with Volkswagons.

I haven't much to say except that the first waves of homesickness struck last week. I did what every good mother would do. I called my dog... but she wasn't home. Now that Kansas has a job, that girl is never home. Did you know that she's 'working' on a horse farm dedicated to breeding monozygote apppolusas? (Someone tell me how to spell this correctly please. I made the fatal error of coming to Toronto without my trusty dictionary) She's the chief foreman and adjudicator of barncat disputes, puppy dog napping times, line ups for who's first to get into the truck, and general issues of confusion, she voting for more of it every time, of course. So far she's reported to be doing a splendid job! I expect that by the time I return home she'll be so advanced that she'll able to support me in the fashion to which I'm fast becoming accustomed.

This is Miss K on one of her more contrite days. Happy Autumn all! Sandra

HELP SANDRA FLY! AIRMILES FOR SANDRA

2007-10-07T09:10:00.000-04:00

PICK UP AN AIRMILES CARD TODAY FROM ARGYLE FINE ART . THEN use it when you do your shopping and every point will make it one step easier for Sandra to travel when she needs to after surgery and her caregivers to travel to TO now! IT's EASY!

DAWN MACNUTT WRITES:
When Sandra had her first transplant nine years ago, I was able to set up a corporate account and distribute nearly a hundred Sandra Winter Air miles collector cards so that many people could collect points for Sandra’s travel and her caregivers. Points are collected by purchasing at eligible businesses, which include Sobey’s, the Bay, Chapters, Holiday Inn, Eddie Bauer, Expedia, Amazon Books. For complete list of retailers, check http://www.airmilesshops.ca/servlet/ContentServer?pagename=airmilesshops/Home&RefererPage=RNC3_SearchByCategory_1127326545027_PageNumber_1_TopNav_1116341051168

While points accumulate slowly on an individual basis, many collectors mean substantial numbers, so that Sandra’s necessary travels back and forth to Toronto were pretty well covered through these years.

If anyone has one of the Sandra Winter Travel Collector cards, they can still collect for her travels and those of her caregivers (same account as before). Someone asked if they could transfer the points they have accumulated on their own personal Airmiles card. I checked and the way to do that would be to close your current personal account and transfer all your points to her account... there is no provision for partial transfer.

Name that Scooter!

2007-09-22T11:04:00.000-04:00

As you can see by the photo, Scooter is great! But she desperately needs a name. Got ideas? Post them in 'comments'.

My brothers, Dale and Bryan, wanted to jazz her up a bit, crank the seat down to make her a lowrider, a few mean sound affects, you know, not so 'old lady' like...make people realize I meant business when I pulled up to their establishment! I settled for some minor tweeking that means I can now reach the handlebars and sit on the seat at the same time.

Peter, the lovely man who delivered my scooter is from Golden Technologies in Barrie Ontario and the company has been kind enough to give me my liberty in the form of this scooter (notice it matches exactly my glasses!) as a loaner for whatever the period of time it is that I need it. What a terrific 'in kind' donation the value of many thousands of dollars. Invaluable to me!

Thanks must also go to John and Brenda Hartley who through their medical supply business, deal with Golden and requested the donation. They have for the second time, arranged for this invaluable service to me. (They'll be mortified that I mentioned them but, J & B, it couldn't be helped)

There have been four transplants since I arrived in July. I'm moving up there. It could happen for me at any time. Hopefully I won't need to use the scooter for very long but as I do now

Please Help Me with a Name

2007-09-08T09:07:00.000-04:00

So, Does that photo above make you feel dizzy? Me too! Looking out the 32nd floor of my building kind of fits the dizzying path my life has been taking since coming to Toronto. Fortunately it is beginning to take on some rhythm and routine and soon I will replace that shaky photo with one of me on my NEW RED SCOOTER! It has just arrived. It goes 9 km an hour, if only those %#&* pedestrians would get out of my way. What a liberation. I can now plan reasonable outings to remove myself from this concrete jungle and spend the day in, say, the YoYo Mah Music Garden, or the Textiles Museum, or the Design Exchange...or the garment district. Oxygen and a scooter....I'll not be stoppable now.

The other good news (oh I have so much good news) is that the fundraising passed the $40,000 mark this week. Its a cruise home now.

And the third good news is that my son, Gaelen Andrew arrives on Monday for a 10 day holiday here in the little apple. He's an old hand at TO and looks forward to reconnecting with his buds and lollygaging in his favorite comic store in the world, the Silver Snail. This is his first holiday in 7 years. How lucky I am that he's chosen to spend some of it with me.

And the other other good news is that my brothers, Bryan and Dale, my sisterinlaw, Karen and my nieces and nephews took up Adrianna's challenge to have a yard sale but with a twist. They decided instead to use their annual camp out, a 17 year tradition, to raise money for the fund through games and raffles and races. They presented me with a picture of all 48 of the participants and the rewards of the day: $825!! Challenge met! and then some. When they supply me with an email pic I'll post it for all to see their tired happy generous faces.

2007-07-25T08:04:00.000-04:00

Much good news from Toronto!

After a great harrangue, and much help, I have found a good apartment! It is so close to the hospital that I can feel the whoosh of the medivac helicopers as they land on the roof of TGH. This will be great in winter as I scoot along to my apointments and don't have to battle the wind tunnels created by all the tall buildings here. Furniture for this new (and accessible and mould free!) place has materialized via the collective efforts of one kind family and will be delivered by a crew of volunteers from the staff of George Brown College on Thursday!

Being homeless is a chronic problem very evident in a city like Toronto. My week of speculative homelessness as distant from the hard reality as it is, has made me appreciate and really observe those who are not so fortunate as myself.

Second good news item...

As of Monday when a very generous donation was sent to the Lung Assocaiton, fund raising passed the half way mark...and by several thousand dollars too!

Thanks to all

Sandra

2007-07-15T13:43:00.000-04:00

I've landed! An unremarkable trip to Toronto and an easy installation into my furnished apartment on Wood Street leaves me anxious to meet with the surgeons on Monday and get this show on the road! I have heard of people receiving lungs the first day they were listed. Failing that wishful thinking, this spot should be very interesting once I get my bearings.

I'm on the 30th floor and my balcony looks south over the core of downtown and the lakes where I can watch tiny sailing races on any given day. There is a distinct feeling of being in a Jetson's TV show as the air traffic is amazing...bright orange copters and sleek jets heading for Toronto island whiz by my balcony dodging spires and other high rises.

The first day I was called to the balcony because a pipe and drums parade was going by..what a royal welcome for an arriving Nova Scotian. The days have contained everything from VERY loud presentations by hari krishna, rock singers, baladeers and middle eastern singing groups. I haven't quite located the source but the buildings amplify the sound so it comes in loud if not clear. Oh, the buzz of a city.

I have yet to go out and explore as my scooter is not yet here. But Andree has done a recconoiter for me and has located the most important things, food, a pub, the library, an LCB.

On her first trip out she was asked directions from a woman. Andree told them she'd been in Toronto only one hour. She exchanged information with the woman and found that she was a Newfoundlander who wa accompanying a woman waiting for a double lung transplant...and where did she live? The apartment next to mine! Were did her partner hail from? Hantsport Nova Scotia!! This trip is ruled by providence.

All this to say, first part over. And thanks again for all the people involved in just getting me here. Kansas is too busy with her new job as foredog on the Rein Tree horse training farm to have put an entry on the blog but I'm sure we'll be hearing from her soon.

Sandra

Listen to Sandra AGAIN on CBC on Thursday, July 12th on Information Morning between 6-8:30am!

2007-07-10T08:35:00.000-04:00

Sandra is going to be on CBC AGAIN...just a day before she heads to Toronto to begin the waiting process for new lungs. Our fundraising efforts continue here. Tune into to CBC Radio One to hear the interview with Sandra. This is a follow up to the earlier interview they had done with Sandra on June 27th.

To hear the interview from June 27th, Click on the link below to hear the interview via streaming media...http://www.cbc.ca/informationmorningns/interviews.html . The link for the interview from July 12 will be here soon too, after it has aired or by going to the CBC Information Morning website.

2007-06-22T08:05:00.000-04:00

Thanks to my many hard working fund raisers and generous friends and aquaintances, the Lung Association to date has received over $10,000.. in just over a month...enough for me to have the confidence to secure an apartment near the Toronto hospital and begin to pack my bags for my BIG ADVENTURE. I am hoping to leave Friday the 13th July...might as well take fate by the horns! My lovely friend Andree LaPare will accompany me and stay long enough to try out the guest bed and help me get over my fright about living on the 30th floor....it is going to be some change from home-home-on-the-range here at Wilcox...but I am up for the adventure. And I thank everyone so much for helping me out the door.

YARD SALE A SMASHING SUCCESS! and it's just the beginning....

2007-06-12T08:13:00.000-04:00

Some of Us got a little silly..but it sold the stuff..Lots of fun...Look at that Lady go with the Lamp

The Team!

There were very cute dogs that visited...they say woof woof to Kansas!

The CROWD

On Saturday, June 16th many of Sandra Winter's friends gathered together to have a giant yard sale-with all the funds going to Sandra, of course. Despite the rain, we had crowds and crowds. It was a fun day and so many people were so supportive and bought lots and lots and lots of stuff. Many too, bought tickets on Jamie Pratt's beautiful wall quilt. They send their prayers and best wishes to Sandra-everyone cares a great deal! Although the formal tally for the yard sale and the raffle is still being counted, we can safely say we raised approximately $1500....not bad for an afternoon. Thank you to everyone for helping out, donating stuff and to Barbara, for loaning her drive-way, her basement, mint tea...Barb rocks! OH yeah, almost forgot,a local paper came by to talk to us and find out about Sandra and CTV was there filming all the buying action. Enjoy some of these fun pictures from the Yard Sale!

Feel free to do that too or simply make a monetary donation directy to the Lung Association in trust for Sandra Winter (address at top of this blog!!) Tax Receipts are available. See our growing number of online auction items at http://sandrawintersonlineauction.blogspot.com/

Where's Waldo?

2007-06-12T07:44:00.000-04:00

This post is a bit of a WHERE'S WALDO...or Barb, or Pat, Maureen or Ann, Adrianna or Marsha, or ...you. I know that fundraising is going on all around me. I only hear snippets because people are trying not to wear me out. But it would be support to me and support to one another if the various pockets of fundraising projects were posted here to expand the picture of what is being or could be done. Contact me or leave a message in comments and I'll give you the 'key' to the site so you can upload your idea, pictures of your event, or your own smiling face. The notion that there is a human 'family' out there who are rooting for me is as much the support I need as to pay for those @#&%@#*$ drugs. Here are a very few of the people I know of who are beavering away at fundraising.

2007-06-07T07:19:00.000-04:00

Support comes in many forms. None is more significant in this process that those offering peace of mind. My lovely neighbour Buddy provides this for me in spades. Along with checking in with me at least once a day, he keeps my gardens in tip top order....lets me feel joy and not frustration when I see them from my window and can't get out to work in them. Kansas loves him too. We all should have (and be!) such a great neighbour!

2007-06-05T08:03:00.000-04:00

The most important of the many things I was able to do with my first set of new lungs was to finish raising my lovely son Gaelen Andrew. He was only 16 when we had to pick up and move to Toronto where he became the sole support person for me, carrying a beeper and on call 24 hours a day. Too big a job for a teenager but accomplished even while continuing his high school education at Contact, a wonderful alternative school which happened to be in the same building as we lived. He is now 26 and as fine a man as I could wish. He has been working for 6 years at Fireside Restaurant in Halifax as a cook, which he finds very fun. Yes, I got to finish raising my son with the first set of lungs. Dare I hope that with the second I'll have a chance to have time with grandbabies? Sandra

2007-06-02T08:31:00.000-04:00